The Countdown Begins

In exactly one month, we leave for California! The roller coaster ride of emotions has begun in earnest. One minute, I'm so excited, thinking about our new lives in a new place. The idea of not knowing anyone (except Grayson and his friends, of course) is really intriguing to me. In Ithaca, everywhere I go, I know people. In the grocery store, I say hello to at least 5 employees by name, not to mention the customers I run into. On the Commons, I feel like the Mayor, schmoozing with countless people as I walk down the street. It's that "Cheers" phenomenon....remember? (You want to go where everybody knows your name.) Being a stranger, being able to reinvent myself if I want to, sounds kind of thrilling! But, then, the nostalgia hits. Who will I say hi to? How long will it take to build this kind of community again? It has taken 52 years to get to this point in Ithaca, and being the daughter of Howard and Helen Cogan sure helped. Now, I'm on my own...having to create that sense all by myself. It's a little intimidating.

Then, there's my students. The current ones, who I love dearly, and the former ones, who I stay in touch with and love as well. Leaving IHS is really hard. I care deeply about this school and the kids. I care deeply about what happens to my beloved Photography program. I remember what it was when I started in 1996. The darkroom was literally in a janitor's closet in E hallway. I had to run back and forth from my classroom to the darkroom to help kids in both places. I had 3 enlargers sitting on library carrels. There was no running water. I got to help design the new darkroom and it was wonderful. (It still is!) What if no one wants to learn film photography anymore? What if the new teacher doesn't let kids hang out during their free periods? What if kids don't even want to anymore? 

Life is funny. They say, "be careful what you wish for." For a long, long time, I've wished to get out of Ithaca. Now, it's 30 days away from being my reality, and I'm feeling very conflicted. If anyone was ever a product of Ithaca, I think it's me. My Dad was a bit of a local legend and I've ridden on his coattails for a long time. I will miss being a known entity, but I am also looking forward to being a little bit anonymous. I'll say hello to the workers in the stores and restaurants I go to. I'll ask their names so the next time I can refer to them more personally. I'll get to know new students, hopefully, in some new school, and I'll come to love them like I love my Ithaca kids. But a piece of my heart will always be in Ithaca and Ithaca will always be in my heart. California, here I come!!!